The Dehumanizing Cruelty of Covid Restrictions

If a loved one wants to risk catching covid to see her dying family member, why should hospitals (or other officials) get to determine whether or not that risk is worth taking?

If you have 4-5 minutes, I would encourage you to read this article in full. It recounts the story of one family’s suffering pre-covid, which serves to show just how very inhumanely we have treated thousands upon thousands of our fellow human beings—friends, loved ones, image bearers—during these past ten months. And this story only mirrors and echoes the suffering I have seen among my own friends and loved ones as they have been prevented from being with their loved ones in their final hours (or days, weeks, and even months). And all I can keep thinking, over and over in my mind, is why?

I know that protocols exist in an effort to “slow the spread.” But frankly, the protocols are often conflicting and illogical (and again, I believe inhumane in these circumstances).

First, if masks are actually effective (see my post from last week on that issue), it makes no sense to me why at least one family member would not be permitted to stay with a loved one who is hospitalized, especially if this family member wears a mask throughout the hospital and “keeps distance” from others.

Second, if the concern is protecting and caring for the the loved one who is hospitalized, then wearing a mask or distancing should not even make a difference because the loved one already has covid. However, allowing a family member to stay with a loved one who is hospitalized can GREATLY improve the patient’s health and chances of survival, as patients who have loved ones present with them will be healthier mentally and emotionally and will be better able to endure the treatments they may receive. Furthermore, allowing a family member to stay with a hospitalized loved one enables the patient to have someone who advocates for his or her health and best interests, which can also substantially improve the care they receive.

Third, if the concern is about the family member catching covid from the loved one who is hospitalized, then if the family member agreed to follow the same protocols as the nurses and physicians attending to the patient, on what basis should the family member be prohibited from seeing her loved one? Moreover, if the family member desires to take the risk of catching covid in order to see her family member, potentially for the last time, why should the hospital (or other officials) get to determine whether or not that risk is worth taking? Before God, if ANY of my family members were extremely sick with covid or anything else, I would GLADLY risk becoming ill in order to see them. And even if I should become gravely ill myself, I would rather see my loved one and be able to extend some comfort to them as they suffer not only from physical illness but also the mental anguish of isolation from family and friends. I think of the many instances throughout church history where Christians and others have chosen to care for the sick and dying even when the risk of serious illness or death was MUCH greater than the risk posed by covid. But this imminently important care has been forbidden these past ten months.

There is much more that I could say, and there is more that I aim to post in the coming days, Lord-willing. As it currently stands, though, I want to state clearly that I do not believe hospitals or other officials should be able to prevent family members from seeing their loved ones, especially when their family members are near death. External entities are making decisions for individuals and families that, in my view, they have no right to make.

I apologize if this post is a bit more raw or direct. I have just seen countless people be harmed by the protocols that are currently in place, and it is my sincere belief that these protocols are ultimately doing more harm than good. Forbidding family members from seeing their loved ones before death cannot be undone— that harm is irrevocable. I’ll end with a brief excerpt from the article:

“The reality, though, is that these restrictions are not saving those with terminal diseases. Instead, they’re torturing the sick, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. No loved ones are beside the sufferers to quench their thirst, hold their hands, forgive their pasts, or pray with them, and there are no priests with sacraments.

Imagine the agony of a father or mother seeking healing and forgiveness from an estranged child before death. Think of the sick or elderly racked with guilt and unable to secure a final penance. Such emotional agony might well pale the physical suffering the dying endure without a constant bedside caregiver who can hear the moan, see the grimace, and witness the struggled gasps for air. Even the kindest and most skilled medical professionals cannot provide the comfort a loved one can.

Those imposing heavy-handed coronavirus rules must realize the truth: Restricting access to the dying is cruel. Keeping people from their suffering loved ones does not safeguard them. It merely subjects them to a different kind of suffering — one for which there might be no recovery.”